DISC Styles and Honoring Others

by Mary McLoughlin on July 26, 2011

Mary-McLoughlin For me, one of the most important lessons that came from the DSWA Coaching program was the importance of honoring other people for who they are, not for whom I want them to be. This is more than accepting their goals, strengths, desire, and wishes. It’s about accepting them and whole and capable and complete—even down to the way they express themselves.

The DSWA Coaching program does a lot of training in the DiSC Profile system to help us open our eyes to the different approaches that people take with their surroundings.

As a strong ‘D’, dominance, behavioral style, I have always been about the doing. I love to tackle a problem, create a solution and get down to work! I have known about my behavioral style for a long time, as well as the DISC styles.

What I learned to appreciate is what each style brought to the team and the importance of having a balance. The challenge for me has always been communication and working together with other styles, particularly S. Learning the art of mirroring finally taught me how to create harmony.

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I came to learn that it isn’t really about the doing, the learning about other styles, it’s about the being. It’s about adjusting my pace, tone, speed and focus to their style. As I worked to mirror others, I began to realize the true benefits of slowing down, of paying attention to more fun, of watching the details and of being sensitive to others. By understanding who I was ‘being’ as a D, I recognized how I was disconnecting with others. The S & C styles were left in the dust with my fast paced conversation. They felt disrespected and bowled over. My focus on sticking to the schedule sapped the fun from the i people. As I mirror an i, I become more fun. When I listen to an S, I learn to connect from my heart. When I learn from a C, I become more knowledgeable. And when I mirror others, they listen to me. They are more likely to follow my lead and get the job done! Diversity comes in many varieties, learning to ‘be’ the other behavioral styles, breaks down the differences and creates harmony. It honors the best in every one and celebrates the team that comes together in harmony1


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