Listening Can Make A Difference

by Jan McDonough on October 25, 2011

listen to the answers What I discovered during my Coach Excellence program was that the Questions are the Answers.

And the only way to ask better questions is to become a much better listener.

The skills acquired have enabled me to become a better listener by developing heart centered listening.  I now listen with my heart much more than my head. By making note of what my client (or anyone for that matter) is telling to me and using that information, I can now ask much better questions to pull additional information all while gaining a clear understanding of what is being said. I would say that I truly didn’t understand the ‘value’ in asking questions before. 

I have always been ‘the talker’ not so much ‘the listener’.  By becoming a better listener, I now talk less and take the time to process my thoughts before speaking.  I have learned how to ‘peel the onion’, by digging deeper.  Slowly pulling layer by layer of information allows me to gather more information.   Then I repeat what I heard to verify my accuracy.

My experiences with coaching have made a difference in my life as well as the life of others. I have the strongest relationship with my 19 year old son that I have had in years. As a coach, I learned to listen more and respond by asking questions to help him learn his own answers (instead of me telling him what to do). I am less stressed, and it enables him to find his own solutions. silence is golden

There is quite an improvement in our relationship because I allow him to finish his sentence (or rant) and then take the time to process a response, usually in the form of another question.  The arguing has not totally stopped, but it is the best it has been in quite some time. 

There is truth to the saying that “Silence is Golden.”  The space that silence creates allows both of us to be much more calm in our challenging discussions.


About the Author: Jan McDonough has built a successful direct sales business and is one of the largest distributors for her company. She is a certified Dream Connection coach. Jan is a graduate of the DSWA Coach Excellence program and is a WABC Certified Business Coach. She can be reached at etsjan@prodigy.net.

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